Lost Rory
There was a dog named Rory. He loved his
owner a lot, but one day they were at the city park
And Rory was not on a leash and he started chasing
a butterfly, his owner wasn’t paying attention so he
didn’t know. Rory then lost the butterfly and he didnt
know where he was but he knew he was lost. Rory
got caught by the dog pound he was there for 2
weeks. Rory waited and waited and one day someone
came up to his cage and then the lock clicked and the
cage opened it was his owner.
A butterfly, the owner wasn’t paying attention s so he, A butterfly, the owner wasn’t paying attention so he,And Rory was not on a lease and he started chasing a,And Rory was not on a leach and he started chasing a, A butterfly, the owner wasn’t paying attention so he
ReplyDeleteDidn’t know. Rory then lost the butterfly and he didn't, A butterfly, the owner wasn’t paying attention s so he
Didn’t know. Rory then lost the butterfly and he didnt
other than these few corrections your story is great
Punctuation is your biggest mistake, it's not spelled leach it's leash, when you said the owner wasn't paying attention you did s so instead of so. Didn't needs to have a apostrophe and last but not least opened is spelled like this, opened.
ReplyDeleteBut good job!
you indented so much
ReplyDeleteon your first sentence you dont need to capitalize owner
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI copied and pasted your story and made some corrections
There was a dog named Rory. He loved his
owner a lot, but one day they were at the city park
And Rory was not on a leash and he started chasing
a butterfly, his owner wasn’t paying attention so he
didn’t know. Rory then lost the butterfly and he didnt
know where he was but he knew he was lost. Rory
got caught by the dog pound he was there for 2
weeks. Rory waited and waited and one day someone
came up to his cage and then the lock clicked and the
cage opened it was his owner.
That was a nice story but when you said but one day they were at the city park you should have put a period and you started a sentence with and so you were not supposed start a sentence with and. There was one another little problem and that was when you said a butterfly, the owner wasn't paying attention s so he did at that part you should have remove the s but overall that was a good story.
ReplyDeletenice story, but there's not enough punuation you need thoughs pauses in there but over all great story, keep up the good work
ReplyDelete