Ralph was happy because today
he was going to Hawaii. Ralph got on the
plane and waited for the plane to fly. As the plane was flying the weather
change, it was stormy. As the weather changed, the pilot told everyone to calm
down, out of no were lighting struck the plane’s engine.
Ralph said to himself “Am I going to die?” The plane was falling and everyone was scared, the pilots said
"everyone to calm down its going to be okay". The pilots regained control of the plane, the pilots went to the nearest airport and landed there, everyone was safe.
Ralph said to himself “Am I going to die?” The plane was falling and everyone was scared, the pilots said
"everyone to calm down its going to be okay". The pilots regained control of the plane, the pilots went to the nearest airport and landed there, everyone was safe.
This is a very good story but after you put a period you should double space.
ReplyDeleteYou forgot to indent the paragraph. Also I would add a comma- As the plane was flying, the weather changed (changed not change
ReplyDelete-You need to indent
ReplyDelete-Start a new paragraph when someone speaks
-double space after every period
-Last sentence should like like this, "The pilots regained control of the plane. They flew the airplane to the nearest airport and landed, everyone was safe."
You need a comma right here- Ralph said to himself," Am I going to die?"
ReplyDeleteAlso after this, The plane was falling and everyone was scared. (I think you should make a new sentence) Also you need to change this around- The pilots said, "Everyone calm down it's going to be okay." (I would add the quotation marks where I put them in this example sentence)
- You didn't capitalize "everyone" when the pilot was speaking.
ReplyDelete- I think you should change " Ralph was happy because today" to "Ralph was happy today because"
- change "Ralph got on the plane and waited for the plane to fly" to "Ralph boarded the plane and waited for lift off."
- when you said "Ralph said to himself “Am I going to die?” it should have been Ralph asked himself because its a question
-
nice story but you need to
ReplyDelete- In your fourth sentence you wrote /were/ you should change it to /where/
- Also in your 3rd paragraph first sentence you should change /its/ to /it's/
overall nice story..